A miscarriage is a spontaneous loss of pregnancy that occurs before the 20th week. Miscarriages can be difficult physically, but they can also be very emotionally draining as well. No matter the circumstances, miscarrying can be a devastating experience for both you and your partner. You might feel angry, guilty, or even depressed after the loss of your pregnancy. It is important to let yourself go through the grieving process naturally, as this is a perfectly normal reaction.
What Happens After a Miscarriage
If you start experiencing the symptoms of miscarriage (vaginal bleeding, pain or cramping, and fluid or tissue passing from your vagina), you will need to seek medical attention immediately so your doctors can determine the best way to handle your treatment. However, sometimes a miscarriage can be diagnosed during an ultrasound before you ever start experiencing symptoms. If this happens, you will have some options about how to proceed.
One option is to wait and let the miscarriage proceed naturally. This could take anywhere from a few days to three or four weeks. Another popular option is to take medications such as mifepristone or misprostol that will help to speed up the process of your body expelling the fetal tissue and placenta. The medication will typically only take a few days to take effect. Finally, you might choose to undergo minor surgery called a dilation and curettage (D&C) to remove the fetus and placenta from your uterus. If you choose D&C, this makes it easier for your doctors to examine the fetal tissue and determine what the cause of the miscarriage was. This can be very helpful when deciding how to move forward with future pregnancies.
How to Deal with Feelings of Guilt
It is very easy to blame yourself for miscarrying. However, you have to remember that miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you did. In fact, there is very little about pregnancy loss that women are in control of. Most miscarriages happen completely randomly and don’t affect your future chances of having a healthy pregnancy at all.
How to Help Your Partner Cope
You can never expect your partner to respond to the miscarriage in the same way as you. Everyone responds to tragedies differently, and there is no wrong or right way to deal with the emotional aftermath of a loss of pregnancy. If your partner’s reaction surprises you, don’t punish them for it. Try to support each other as much as you can to make the grieving process as easy as possible for both of you.
How Long to Wait Before Trying Again
The time between a miscarriage and trying to conceive again depends on both physical and emotional factors. You may need to wait at least a few weeks to let your body heal before having sex to avoid infection. Psychologically, only you can judge when you are ready to try again. If you still feel very vulnerable, you might want to wait a little longer just in case you miscarry again.
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